its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
