yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
