I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I would ride that face into the sunset
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
