i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize