she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Did we literally take a cab across the street
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize