We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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