I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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