Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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