Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize