Yo dont text me then not text me
just tell him i said nine months
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
operation have a gay friend backfired
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
