I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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