All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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