Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
