I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize