But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
