eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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