Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
