we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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