That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
