Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
