is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
