There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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