you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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