so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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