Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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