It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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