Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize
