under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
