Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.

(1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.

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(312): View more from Illinois

so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?

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(260): View more from Indiana

A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?

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(702): View more from Nevada

At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.

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(231): View more from Michigan

I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.

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