so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
it hurts more in the daytime
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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