i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
