That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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