She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
