69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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