fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
