I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I need help removing her.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We have started to decorate penises.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
