Betty ford says i'm here all night
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
