I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
