my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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