I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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