in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
