Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
