My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize