Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
