I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
