You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
