sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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