dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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