I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
