My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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