dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
