so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
