i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
