I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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