I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
