She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You are the jesus of drinking
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
