She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
