I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
