scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
as a side note pls kill me
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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